Well…I’m full of energy and wide awake in between feedings so as I was reflecting on the craziness of how fast the first 10-11 days of Blaise Bear’s life has been, I ran across this photo of me and him when I first met him (I had no clue that Ty had taken this sweet photo)
Here is a quick recap of my birthing story because I know a few of you had been asking:
So Sunday, November 25th, I had started having some contractions in my lower back at 4am but I really did not think much of it. I woke up and got ready for church (keep in mind I was in pain and was complaining in my head about how stupid everything was and how much I wished that there was a donut bar at Ethos HAH!-seriously I went to church embittered that there wasn’t a donut bar!) (You all, just for context, there has NEVER been a donut bar at Ethos…it’s just something I dream about because that’s how my brain works! HAHAHA!)
I waddled into church mad at the world and mad that Blaise wasn’t out, and mad about the lack of donuts at church, and mad that I had to get up every 5 minutes to pee, pretty much I was annoyed with everyone and everything in the world.
Then when I waddled to go to the bathroom for the 1,000th time, Christiana Muir stopped me and asked if she could pray over me. Since I think that she is pretty much an angel baby I agreed (but in my head I was like “oh my gosh, God will never answer this prayer because my punishment is to have this kid jump on my bladder for literally the rest of my life”-HAAHAH) (can you all tell that by the end of my pregnancy I was OVER It and so dramatic in my head)?
Anyway, the prayer was beautiful, it made me cry, and then I waddled back to Ty and continued to complain in my head about everything…but I was grateful for Nana’s prayers over me and the baby!
Fast forward to Sunday afternoon I was still experiencing a lot of pain throughout the day so that night Ty drove me to the hospital to see if we could be admitted since my contractions were happening every 10 minutes. When we got there, I checked in (but I was too talkative really with everyone around me-which should have been clue #1 to me that my body wasn’t ready for labor and delivery quite yet) (even the nurse asked Ty what was wrong with me, because I kept joking around with her, and she literally had to ask my husband if this was normal behavior from me) The nurses checked me, I was only 1 cm dilated so they determined that wasn’t enough and that I needed to be at least 5-6 cm dilated in order to start the labor and delivery process, so they sent me back home around 10pm.
I did feel a bit defeated (and reminded again that this kid would NEVER come out of me) so I asked Ty to take me to Wendy’s and I proceeded to eat the biggest burger of my life because I was desperate for some meat (Let’s hear it for Dave’s Doubles and the french fries at Wendy’s!)
The next day, Monday November 26th, was an equally miserable (if not worse) day for me because my contractions had moved from every 10 minutes to every 6-7 minutes and I had slept in the guest bedroom because I was so sick and tired of moving around and feeling guilty for waking Ty up with my constant bathroom breaks and constant cries of pain (honestly I felt so bad for him for the past 2-3 months because I don’t think he’s gotten that much sleep because of me). So Bella ended up sleeping with me, and she actually stopped being a d-bag for a night and really tried her best (in her weird sort of cat way) to comfort me. Every time I started crying, she would try to lick my face or at least try to start purring (which, to me, is so weird, because normally my cat is like most cats…she can be pretty selfish and moody, but that Monday she was super attentive to me! Isn’t that strangely funny?)
As Monday progressed, I stopped interacting with Ty because talking hurt and I hid in the guest room to lay there and get through all the contractions by myself because I didn’t want to bother anyone and I thought I could power through it (HAHAHA-oh Dolly). At one point though, Ty did pop his head in the guest room and suggested I go on a walk with him to help with the baby, and I actually agreed to that! We walked around our neighborhood and I even had the energy to joke around with him (which I love doing), but as soon as we got home I made the most foolish decision and decided I would bounce around on my bouncy ball to help out with the contractions. Well, while Ty was in the kitchen making lunch for us, I started bouncing and the exercise ball accidentally slipped from under me and I went crashing straight down on my tail bone-and I peed all over myself (I thought my water had broken)…I screamed so loudly and started sobbing uncontrollably and Ty came rushing in the room to see what had happened to me. Honestly, I was super embarrassed that I had fallen off of my bouncy ball and I was super embarrassed that I was sobbing in front of my husband, and that I had peed myself. My stupid tailbone was inflamed with pain, and my contractions were even more awful, but I decided to just “tough it out” and eat lunch bc I was hungry (and I just wanted to sit down and watch reruns of Shark Tank b/c I’m lame and that’s how I roll with life sometimes)
(You all, I’m stubborn if you haven’t picked up on a theme with how I tend to isolate myself and use humor to get by when I feel so much physical pain. Also, I tend to overwatch tv when I get too stressed out with life…and for some reason, Shark Tank was one of the only shows which helped me cope with my contractions because I thoroughly enjoyed watching people get ripped apart by the Sharks for their stupid business ideas-HAHHAHAA-Seriously what is wrong with me!?)
By 5 or 6pm on Monday night I was DONE trying to be strong and I wanted to be taken back to the hospital because the contractions were so bad I felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again in my lower back AND my stupid tailbone was throbbing because of my bouncy ball incident. In the midst of this, Ty really wanted to get pizza, and because of his researcher personality, he was researching all the pizza places near our house. I almost lost my mind and I finally told him “LOVE…..you better make up your mind and get a dang pizza” (he did by the way…. which is fine with me because I ended up eating the pizza too AHHAHAH).
After the pizza, I knew it was time to go. We quickly packed the car and were heading down the driveway when the pain started to pick up. I screamed for about 1 minute straight and Ty exclaimed: “It’s like we are in a movie!” (which now that I look back at that moment, I want to kiss him because that’s pretty funny to me) Once we got on the highway, STUPID 1-24 was, of course, under construction and heavily packed with stupid traffic and I was cursing nonstop because this is not the way I wanted to deliver my son. Also, I was mad about typical Nashville traffic always ruining my life.
Ty, thank God, knew another way to the hospital, and we made it in 15 minutes. We checked in and I was admitted by 11pm because of the amount of pain I was in, and I wanted an epidural so bad because I could not handle the pain anymore. I think the turning point for Ty was when he witnessed me writhe in so much pain that I pulled my body all the way back and my head hit the headboard because I was screaming so loudly and was sobbing at the same time for the nurse to stop checking me (because it felt like she had put a screwdriver in my body and I kept asking her to please stop touching me-I even put my hand in her face and told her to back off) (Sorry Nurse! I just did not like the way you were treating me at the moment).
By 1am, I was given all the drugs and I finally stopped crying/cursing/screaming and I was able to “rest” because my body had been under so much pressure and pain that it knew it needed to sleep before the delivery process started, so I actually slept from 1am to 5am (or 6am)/, either way, I slept very hard and occasionally woke up and let people move me around to check on my vitals.
Around 6am/7am (honestly, I forget) a nurse came in and told me that I would be ready to push soon (which I was like “yeah! that sounds good to me!” But then I would fall back asleep because of how relaxed I was) At 7am The Today Show was on in the background and I remember specifically laughing at the news because they were covering a “gender reveal gone wrong” because some idiotic parents decided it would be great to do a gender reveal in the middle of the woods (that were extremely dry) and they would shoot at the box to reveal their gender. What they didn’t realize is that the forest was so dry b/c of the weather and the entire mountain range caught on fire and it ruined the gender reveal…Yes, these are the things I remember from my son’s birthing story! HAHAHAAHAHA! I, Ty and even our nurse were laughing so hard about how ridiculous this story was. Once that news story had ended, my doctor came back in and announced I was ready to push. I was still tired, but determined, to get this baby out. I was also a little scared about how I was going to push if I couldn’t feel anything, but I just figured “oh well…..I’ll figure something out!” *My doctor is amazing by the way, she explained everything so well to me and explained what the pushing process should look like with an epidural. Because she gave me such a great visualization, I was able to push and was able to get through labor/pushing efficiently!*
Every push had to be ten counts and I just followed everyone’s directions very well and listened to Ty’s encouragements to me, and I even told myself to “dig deeper” at some points. The entire pushing process took only 30 minutes and by the end of it, I was super surprised and shocked by how fast it went because my doctor handed me my sweet son which I was totally not ready for the shock and powerful emotions I felt when I first saw him. He was a smushy little ball of rolls and slime and I thought “oh…am I going to drop him? should someone else hold him?” But he came straight to me and I held him and then started crying immediately while looking at Ty and kissing my sweet son (who was screaming his head off by the way). Ty cut the cord, and then it just felt like time stopped for a moment because it was just me, Ty, and Baby Bear in the room.
It was truly such a magical and weird moment.
Everything after that was literally such a blur. Because I had had an epidural, it was going to take me a while to recover from all those drugs and I had to have lots of support to walk around the hospital. Blaise, it turns out, had jaundice, so we had to stay in the hospital for about 4 days total to recover and receive treatments for him. By Friday, November 30th, I was anxious and excited about leaving the hospital because I was ready to begin my life with Ty and Blaise.
Our first weekend home as a family was overwhelming and took quite some time to get adjusted to, but we made it!
Literally, every day is an adventure with Blaise. We are learning how to take care of his needs and those needs are pretty repetitive but they are every 2 to 3 hours around the clock. Let me repeat…AROUND THE CLOCK! So…Dolly Mama is exhausted, yet I feel very happy and blessed because I finally get to meet and learn more about my son!
Now, the real adventure and story begin. It is truly one of the BEST blessings God has ever given me (aside from getting married to Ty), but it is also one of the HARDEST things that God has ever given to me because I have no idea what I am doing and living with a newborn is like living with a tiny dictator who does not care if you are well rested, well fed, or bathed.